When I was in middle school, “sex education” meant abstract allusions to sex, lectures on abstinence, and a slideshow of medically explicit STI sores. In contrast, what I’ve learned about sex education in the Netherlands feels like stepping into a parallel universe free of fear mongering – one where knowledge isn’t seen as dangerous and curiosity isn’t treated like a moral failure.
According to Advocates for Youth (2011), the Dutch model doesn’t just teach the biology of sex, but teaches sexuality comprehensively and through the lens of respect, pleasure, and communication. Starting in primary school, Dutch children are given age-appropriate lessons about relationships, bodily autonomy, and emotional wellbeing. The curriculum isn’t obsessed with shielding kids from sex. Instead, it helps them understand it in context socially, emotionally, and physically. Teachers are well-trained and supported, and students are taught early on that asking questions is not only okay, but encouraged.
This difference is not just cultural, but also deeply political. In the Netherlands, comprehensive sex education is a legal requirement in all primary and secondary schools, reinforcing the idea that access to accurate and inclusive information is a public right, not a parental privilege (Rutgers, 2022). As Yuri from Rutgers explained in his guest lecture, the Dutch model is grounded in the belief that sex education should promote not only health and safety, but also autonomy and equity. It’s not just about preventing harm, but about preparing young people to navigate intimacy and relationships with confidence and care. They emphasized that young people who are informed and respected are more likely to delay sexual activity, use protection, and feel empowered to make choices that reflect their personal values and readiness, not societal pressure (Rutgers, 2022). The goal: informed decisions, not obedience.
Thinking back to my own experience in reproductive biology and neuroscience, we talk about fancy science and research, hormone cycles, neural feedback loops, blah blah blah… but the conversation more than often ends there. We don’t talk about how politics, social attitudes, shame or historic context filters that knowledge, especially in the US where educational content is often shaped by conservative politics. It’s strange that a thoughtful, honest approach to sex education feels revolutionary when it really should be the baseline.
Even though this kind of sex ed feels like common sense here in Amsterdam, I can’t help but doubt the US will ever catch up in my lifetime. In the US, even bringing up the idea of comprehensive sex ed often requires defending it from imagined threats to childhood innocence. In contrast, the Dutch model understands that knowledge is protection, and that shame is far more dangerous. When we asked Yuri about LGBTQ+ inclusion, pleasure, or contraception, the answers were practical, calm, and backed by data. Even the random passing Dutch citizens we’ve interacted with this past week have been candid and open about sexuality, politics, and typically “taboo” topics. No pearl-clutching. No fear-mongering. Just educators doing their jobs and the real-life effect it has on people.
If I’d had even a fraction of this kind of education growing up, I might have started unlearning the internalized shame towards anything sex-related a lot earlier. Seeing how it's taught here gave me a glimpse of what’s possible when a society stops moralizing information and instead starts trusting science and people to use it.
(n= 594)
References
Advocates for Youth. (2011). Adolescent sexual health in Europe and the United States: The case for Rights. Respect. Responsibility. [Fact sheet]. https://www.advocatesforyouth.org/resources/fact-sheets/adolescent-sexual-health-in-europe-and-the-united-states-the-case-for-a-rights-respect-responsibility-approach/
Rutgers. (2022). Sex under the age of 25: Summary report. Rutgers Centre for Sexuality. https://rutgers.nl/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Sex-under-the-age-of-25-Summary-report.pdf
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